10 posts tagged “nin”

The past... forever since I've posted:

• I like bullet posts a whole lot more than real posts.
• I've been sick as a dog for two weeks straight with no relief.
• Saw a doctor.
• Took antibiotics.
• Hospitalization was discussed.
  
• Still sick, but a little better.
• No hospitalization so far.
  
• I have the brain of a 44 year old according to my DS.
• Bean has a new boyfriend.
• I've had multiple panic attacks over it.
• He's adorable though.
• She has good taste.
  
• I fell and busted my face when I was home alone.
• Blood galore because I bashed my lip opened.
• Bump on forehead from where I smacked my head.
• I got yelled at by a 14 year old for hurting myself.
• Had a big idea for a new website.
• Registered the domain over two weeks ago.
• Still haven't done shit with it.
• Semi-conned Vic into getting tickets to see NIN in Baltimore.
• THREE SHOWS!!!!
• That means I'm going!
• Made a Vox Group for other people who bullet point posts.
• Still haven't done shit to it.
• Landed a new job to start soon that pays well.
• Still working for my current rad boss who emails and tells me to make sure I take care of myself.
• He worries.
• Reconnected with a friend of mine.
• I love him to pieces.
• His girlfriend and I have the same name.
• My ex and him have the same name.
• Weird, huh?
• Saw Disturbed.
• Saw Kathy Griffin.
• Going to see a Soul's football game tomorrow.
  
• Despite being sick for this long, I have never been more thankful for my world exactly as it is right now.
  

1 comment

Monday...

• Cried and downloaded the new NIN album.
• Listened obsessively.
• Picked up my camera after a long, long hiatus.
• Took photos of Bean at the park.
• Every single one turned out beautiful.
  

• Took Bean and her friend to see MCR where she got to be plastered to the barricade directly in front of Gerard.
• Nearly cried 4 times thinking about how happy she must be up there.
• Watched the singer of Taking Back Sunday have stage sex with my baby girl.
  
• Went to Tony Luke's after the show.
  
• Got a Provolone With.
• Didn't eat it.
• Home.
• Bed.

• Got my tickets to see NIN at both the Philly and East Rutherford shows.
• Screamed "BOTH SHOWS!!" over and over again all day long.
• Ate my Provolone With some time during the screaming.

• Tried to convince Vic and Dee to buy me a ticket to see NIN in Baltimore so I can scream "THREE SHOWS!!"
• Reminded them that it would be the most perfect 30th birthday gift in the world.

• Cried a lot of the day for no particular reason.
• I don't mind those days.
• Asked Dee what she wanted for Mother's Day.
• "Slippers... and a white lilac bush."
• Frustrated, I repeated "Slippers and a bush!" 9,000 times.
• Went to bed and fell to sleep by 10:30.

• Slept a record breaking 12 hours.
• Got ready, went to the mall.
• Went into every damn store looking for slippers.
• Finally found them after two hours.
• Bought her two pairs.
• A practical pair and a cozy pair.
  
• Went with Bean to buy nail polish.
• Got myself pink glitter and black glitter.
• Bean got every color of the rainbow nail polishes and two headbands.
• Spent less than $35.00 at the mall.
• Left mall, met Vic, headed to newly found Value City.
• Decided to eat first at Chickie's and Pete's.
• I got the baby lobsters.
• Went to scary mall with Value City.
• Bought RED FLANNEL PANTS (!!!!) because Dee threw out my old ones.
• Went into Debs.
• Bought myself a shirt and shorts and Bean a $5.00 green plaid skirt.
• Men were working in Debs and it scared me.
• Like... gangster looking kind of men.
  
• Home.
• Image Googled "bush" (remember... "slippers and a bush"??) while Bean wrapped up the slippers.
• OMFG!
• Brilliance happens.
• Printed out a photo and popped it in an old frame.
• Marveled at how clever I am.
• Painted nails pink and black.
• Bed.

• DIDN'T sleep 12 hours.
• Played Animal Crossing while in bed.
• Got up.
• Yelled at Dee that it's Mother's Day Present Time.
• She reached in the bag and pulled out one pair of slippers (the cozy ones).
• Loved them.
• She reached back in the bag an pulled out the other pair of slippers (the practical ones).
• Loved them.
• She reached in the bag one last time and pulled out... an 8 x 10 framed photo of... George W. Bush.
• She looked confused.
• I simply said... "slippers... and a bush".
• Laughter ensued because I got her exactly what she wanted.
• Went to dinner at one of my favorite places, The Pop Shop.
• I wore my RED FLANNEL PANTS (!!!) out to dinner.
  
• I got the Lawnside and the Toll House Pie for dessert.
• It was fantastic.
• I ordered an Eldridge to bring home to eat the next day.
• Home.
• Watched the Flyers lose.
• Chilled.
• Bed.

• Woke up at 7AM to a happy, smiling hamster who was wide awake.
• Snuggled her.
• Worked.

• Blogging.
• It's ugly and raining and cold outside.
• Still wearing my RED FLANNEL PANTS (!!!)
  

• Will eat my Eldridge while catching up with Tivo.
• Will get ready.
• Will go see Disturbed tonight at the House of Blues.
• Seriously considering wearing my RED FLANNEL PANTS (!!!) to the show.
  

Lights in the Sky

Nine Inch Nails

Deb wanted to know my interpretation of the song and how it affects me. That isn't really an easy thing for me to answer. The answer requires I look inward and possibly sound crazy to those reading... but I'm going to go for it anyway.

First, there is a bit of a back story. Being a teenager in the mid 90's was not an easy thing for me, as I'm sure it wasn't easy for anyone else. I related to no one even though I had plenty of friends and was plenty social. Still, no one shared the same thoughts, feelings, ideas. The first time I heard NIN it felt like home. It felt like I belonged to that music. Every drum, keyboard and blip echoed in my core. It's a difficult thing to explain unless it has happened to you. None of my friends were into the music (they still aren't) and all thought I listened to complete shit.

Since then, NIN has been my security blanket of sorts. Through everything, all the changes, all the good and bad, many albums, parenthood, loss of loved ones... that music is constant for me. When depression hits, every single time, you'll find me frantically listening to every NIN song trying to "find the noise" in my head. And always... always... it's there and it helps ease the pain.

Now comes the crazy...

So that song, for me, feels like a promise. Not just a promise from Trent but also from myself. "I am here right beside you" is a reminder for me that through craziness and physical pain that I will never ever ever be alone. I don't want to say that I feel like he's singing to me, but his words fill up the little hole in my heart just the same. Also, he will always be there for me, this man who has no idea I exist, because his music lives in me.

There is also the obvious that I have loved people in the same way the song speaks so when I listen to it my feelings shift back and forth from remembering people I've loved, who loved me, to being comforted and feeling safe. All of that brings on a wave of emotions and so tears always come.

So, I suppose that's what the song means to me. But I can use that same interpretation on many of his songs. They all affect me on some deep level.

One last thing, let me assure everyone I'm not some obsessive stalker girl with a shrine. I appreciate his existence and all he doesn't know he's done for me but I don't pray to the Almighty Reznor.

Friday

• Woke up at 7:00 am.
• Worked.
• Made 50 cents on Moola.
• Got pretty.
• Went to see Mindless Self Indulgence.
• Random-act-of-kindness guy #1 gave me his laminated pass on his way out.
• The string to it was soaked with sweat.
• Creepy old dude took a picture of me and Bean.
• Random-act-of-kindness guy #2 gave me his autographed ticket stub because he noticed I couldn't get to the band with all the craziness surrounding them.
• Headed to Tony Luke's for a "Provolone With" and cheese fries.
• Arrived home @ 1:30 am.
• Too tired to eat my Provolone With and just nibbled the fries.
• Slept in makeup.

Saturday

• Woke up.
• Ate half of my Provolone With.
• Best god damn cheese steak I ever had in my life!
• Played Harvest Moon that came from Gamefly.
• It kinda sucks.
• Decided to clean the house.
• Told kid to take out the trash.
• Put my brush back in my bedroom before I forgot about it.
• Returned to the kitchen to see that it was mysteriously clean.
• I have a very good kid.
• Finally washed my face.
• Bean decided to make dinner.
• Pasta.
• Ate.
• Chilled.
• More Harvest Moon.
• It still kinda sucked.
• Got ready for bed.
• Glanced at Pixi's cage.
• MOTHERFUCKING SHIT! SHE BIT A HOLE IN IT!!!
• Panic ensued.
• Bean rigged her cage for the evening in a way to block the hole.
• Bean slept in my room, worried about Pixi pulling a Houdini.
• More Harvest Moon while I'm in bed.
• It won't stop kinda sucking.
• Fell asleep around 3:00 am.

Sunday

• Woke up.
• Pixi didn't escape.
• Ate breakfast.
• Got pretty.
• Headed to Petco for a new cage.
• "Awww"d at every single rodent there.
• Saw happy, smiling fishies.
• Contemplated getting another hamster.
• Picked out a new cage and toys.
• Headed to Staples.
• Bean freaked at the sight of green binders.
• I looked at desks and monitors and various geekery.
• Came home.
• Bean put Pixi's new, bigger cage together.
• Hamster entered cage.
• She fucking HATES it.
• We tried ALL day to make it better for her.
• Took a break from obsessing over the hamster's happiness.
• Ate the other half of my Provolone With.
• Even two days later, it's still the best damn cheese steak I ever had.
• Returned to hamster obsessing.
• Pixi made sad faces at me.
• Finally, at midnight, she was happy enough with her cage to stop looking pathetic.
• Decided not to get another hamster.
• Slept.

Monday ( @ 9:30 am )

• Woke up at 7:00 am.
• Worked.
• Checked my bank account.
• Realized I don't have enough in there to pay for my NIN tickets on Wednesday.
• Didn't worry too much.
• Won three games of Ro-Sham-Bo Fu.
• Opened Vox between games.
• Saw this post.
• Went "WTF??"
• Visted nin.com.
• Cried with happiness.
• Downloaded.
• Listened.
• Cried more.
• Blogged.

Only a hardcore fan could get excited about a remix album.

Halo 25 cover

Halo 24

I've given it a week. I have had my copy of the CD for a week today. I haven't written a review because, not only am I bad at that sort of thing, but I also wanted to get in the proper listening time for it. I wanted to hear every blip and breath first before I made any rushed decision of what I thought.

I have been a fan of Nine Inch Nails since the early 90's. Teenager angst and all. Relating to the lyrics, the feeling. And as I grew up, the music grew up right with me. At every new release I worried beforehand that I wouldn't be able to relate anymore, that I had grown too much. But I was always wrong because the music was always, always right where I was. Year Zero is no different.

Like many fans, I listened to it on the stream on the website before I got my CD. I liked it. I enjoyed it. But I listened through shitty computer speakers and in doing so, it lacked... something. What, I didn't know until I got my CD.

The moment I put it in... the first few seconds of HYPEROWER, it became clear. This is not just music. It is art. It is beautiful chaos that tells a completely amazing story.

Halo 24

I have followed the ARG but probably not as closely as other fans. I know the story and it terrifies me. But there is SO much information to find and read and consume that I often feel left behind. So I take my time with it. I read slowly so I understand. The world he has created is absolutely brilliant and scary beyond words. The message is a wake up call. I do not want that to be my future. Wake up and give a shit? Yes, sir.

To me, the music is a small portion of what Year Zero is about. The music can tie it together, as more of a soundtrack to the bigger picture. Year Zero isn't an album, it's an experience. A wonderful, amazing experience.

I tried explaining this to a friend of mine, who didn't even know there was a new NIN album out. He was just going to download the music and give it a listen. And when I tried to explain that there was more to it than music and lyrics, that it was a story, an experience... well, he thought I lost my mind and dismissed me. And so he downloaded his crap versions of mp3's and said "wow, good song" while I screamed to myself "it's more than that!"

It saddens and frustrates me that not everyone will get it. There will be those people who will buy or download it and just think "good song" without understanding the story. They won't see the art, the brilliant planning behind it all. They won't appreciate it the way I (and others) do.

So to sum it up, my feelings on Year Zero? It is the most brilliant of all Trent's albums. It makes me feel and think in a way I never have. I love it so much that I am at a loss for words to even express it.

And that is my (super shitty) Year Zero review.

Some links for those not in the know:
Open Source Resistance
Ninwiki
Free Rebel Art
Year Zero

Look what I got early:

Halo 24

Halo 24

Abject posted two videos of the Bridge School Benefit and so I thought I'd post the mp3's of the performance that I have. The quality is good, not great. I don't remember where I got them from either so if you want, I can email them to you if you like. Just send me a message with your email and I'll be happy to oblige.

Go to one random page in Explore Audio. What CD do you see that you're most interested in listening to?

Pretty Hate Machine

1 comment

Funny enough, on the first page was my favorite band, though it's not my favorite album. Is it cheating to use the first page? I mean, they're still random for Christ's sake. I randomly chose page one.

But yeah, Nine Inch Nails is my absolute favorite of all time in the history of music. Trent Reznor is part of my soul and my reason for living. I will be an 80 year old bitch singing "It won't give up, it wants me dead, god damn this noise inside my head".

Alright, maybe it's not that bad... but they're my favorite.